Storm of Life
by JenLea
Summary: After being widowed, Maria is left to weather a night with her newborn daughter, where she thinks she's going crazy


Storm of Life

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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"Jesse, I don't know how much you know," Maria Kanellis murmured softly, talking to her newborn daughter. "But we're going to meet your daddy," Quietly, a soft rain began to fall. Maria made the effort to shield her baby, but still allowed the child to feel the rain.

The soft dirt road was solid beneath her feet. Each step she took showed certainty that she didn't have. She couldn't believe she was back. The last time she had been here she had been seven months pregnant.

"Your daddy loved storms," she told the baby. "That's why your middle name is Storm. He wanted you to have some mention of what he loved so dearly," She sighed, gazing into the baby's deep eyes. "You have his eyes, but that's about it."

Somewhere behind her, she heard the engine of her best friend's car. She knew Trish would think she was crazy for having the baby out in the rain, but she didn't care. She had to do this.

The wind howled softly. Tree branches scraped softly against stone. Tightly clutching the baby, she sighed. Was this really a good idea?

"I remember this weather," she murmured, kneeling. The mud dug into the knees of her jeans, but she didn't care. "It was like this the day we buried him…"

Suddenly, she was back in the cemetery on the day of the funeral. Suddenly, she was six months pregnant, wearing the only black dress she could find. Suddenly, she was facing the grief of friends, family and fans. Suddenly, she didn't want pity.

_We're so sorry. He was a great man…_

_Know he's always with you, and your baby._

_I know what you're going through…_

Then, Jesse cooed softly. Suddenly, Maria was back in the cemetery. Glancing at her daughter, she remembered all she had been through.

"I'm sorry if we haven't been by," she murmured, feeling awkward talking to a stone. "Jesse's only been here about two weeks. It's been hectic. I hope you understand…"

All of a sudden, it grew less awkward. She began telling him about the calls, how everyone was worried about her, and how everyone swore Jesse had his eyes. She told him about diaper changes, breast-feeding and diaper sales.

"Jesse's always going to know you," she murmured. Behind her, a twig snapped. Maria jumped. Who was behind her?

"Come on," Trish murmured, setting her hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's not good for you or her to be out,"

Glancing over her shoulder, Maria just made out the stone.

_Carlos Colon JR_

_February 21, 1979-July 17, 2006_

_In an instant, you were here…_

_In an instant, you were gone…_

Later that night, Maria couldn't sleep. Normally, she slept when Jesse slept, since the baby didn't like to sleep. Tonight, she just wanted to rock with her daughter.

The runners of the rocking chair squeaked softly in succession. Crickets chirped. The window howled. Suddenly, a bolt of lightening illuminated the room.

Maria thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. How was it possible what she was seeing? She couldn't be seeing this…

"Jesse, Mommy needs to put you down," she murmured, sure she was losing her mind. "Mommy needs to sleep, Princess." Shaking violently, she struggled to keep her grip on the baby.

"I think I'm losing my mind," she muttered, pulling the duvet over her head. "I'm losing my mind," Outside, the wind howled. Another bolt of lightening illuminated the room. "Okay, I'm losing my mind," Closing her eyes, she quickly fell asleep while convinced she was going crazy.

She woke up at three-thirty when Jesse began to cry. Turning the light on, she took several deep breaths. She didn't feel crazy, but that didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Jesse, Mommy had a scare with the storm." She murmured, wondering if she should wake Trish. Her best friend had told her to wake her up if she needed anything. Losing her sanity probably counted as _anything. _

"Trish, I think I'm losing my mind," Maria murmured, making sure the baby was latched on. "I could have sworn I saw Carlos in the middle of the room."

Trish sat up. Maria felt like an idiot, knowing she was waking Trish up for something so trivial.

"Maria, I'll sit up with you," Trish murmured, pulling her robe on. She yawned softly. "Your mind was probably playing tricks on you," She moved into Maria's bedroom.

"He was standing in the middle of the room!" Maria exclaimed. She wanted to convince herself she hadn't seen what she had thought she had seen.

"Maybe you weren't so crazy," Trish murmured. Maria could tell she was struggling to keep together. What was that in her hand?

"What is that?" she asked. Trish handed her a black rose and a paper napkin. Reading it, she dropped the napkin.

_Maria, I will love you forever. Until the storm of life is over, I'll be waiting._

_Carlos_

THE END


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